When we point the blame or make negative comments towards others, it has always been to my understanding that those statements say a lot about ourselves. Remember the saying “point the finger at someone and you’ll have three more pointing back at you”? This is really very true. It seems that when a person blames another for their shortcomings, they are really just pointing out those shortcomings that they can really relate to. Now, of course, this does not always apply. But, if a person is just saying something to bring the other person down, then the chances are pretty hefty that the one pointing the finger is pretty low on the self-esteem totem pole. Why would they even bother to point it out? To make themselves feel better? Does this really make a person with an inferiority complex feel more confident?

Confidence is obviously a tough thing to keep up in today’s world, it seems, with TV and all the media influence that has become a part of our daily existence. In many ways it is indeed causing many of us to feel more insecure about ourselves and accepting of others’ opinions of ourselves. Even if we LIKE that ‘socially undesired’ characteristic about ourselves, many will change just to appease and/or fit in with the crowd that is deemed by the society and culture we are surrounded by. This seems to me to be more of a survival instinct that we were born with early on in our human existence. And when something like that has lasted for this long, it obviously must take quite a while a tweak a bit. So, if we get one thing out of this article it would be this: remember that when you are publicly displaying any sort of remark, positive or negative, about another person; you are actually publicly making a bold statement about yourself. So, keep it positive, or at least proactive if you can. If you see a negative quality in a person, why not just try to be the constructive one who points out that positive thing about that person. The rewards are endless as we are always planting seeds with one another daily.

Step One.    Start a journal that contains three sections; Journaling, Success and Having Gratitude.   

It may seem very simple and perhaps even to some a little woo woo, however it has been well researched and proven that writing things down helps to achieve what you want in life.  “When you see it and believe it your can create it.”

a.  Daily happenings. Writing is a fantastic way to get rid of feelings and thoughts that don’t serve you well.   You can write a few lines or a few pages depending on what you choose to do and what each day brings.

b. Your Daily Successes.  Most people don’t even realize that they have many successes during a day.  A success is anything, whether big or small that is an action.  For example:  If my blog is ready on time that’s a success. If I don’t wait until the last minute to get things to my assistant that’s a success!  If I empty my dishwasher instead of leaving it for the next day that’s a success.   It can be personal or professional.     By putting your daily success actions into a journal over time it allows you to see what you really do achieve each day.  It could be two to three actions you took that day to take you nearer to your goals.    

I like to take a look at the end of each week to see how much I actually did achieve in a week. As you look back on your entries of positive accomplishments, it will give you motivation to achieve even more.  It also helps me to see where I’m just making busy work or when I’m being really productive.

c.  Having gratitude for what you have, not for what you don’t have.  Write 3-5 things each day that you are really grateful for in life.  You will be amazed at what happens when you continue to do this and how much it changes your thinking to be really positive.

Step Two:  Setting Your Goals.  I always encourage clients to set short and long term goals then put them aside and come back to creating the action to achieve them. Instead of attempting to achieve everything at once break the actions into smaller steps that you want to meet each day.    Each time you cross off the small steps, you gain more confidence in yourself and you’ll empower yourself to reach the next step until you’ve achieved the primary goal.

If your goal is to save money for a vacation, you can plan small steps like placing $5 in a savings jar each day. You’ll feel good knowing you’ve done seven things for yourself one week rather than waiting until you suddenly need $1,000 to fall into your lap for your upcoming holiday.

If you don’t finish a step, I encourage you not to beat yourself up.  Lots of people are very good at that because they think they failed.   In my book, there is no such thing as failure.  Everything in life is a learning experience and the small steps help you to gain the confidence and self esteems you want to build.

Step Three.   Read inspirational quotes.  Search the Internet or purchase a book with lots of inspirational quotes on confidence or self-esteem.  I have an International Monday Motivator quote that goes out each week which is both written and recorded.  If you are interested in this, you can find all the information together with my free 6 lesson E.course at www.sayyestoyoucoaching.com.    Use weekly quotes to jumpstart your week or a daily quote to jumpstart your day.  Apply it to your life throughout each day.  This will give you another success to add to your daily journaling.   Always set an intention at the beginning of each day about how you choose to feel that day and then follow through on that intention.

And, always remember to take a little time to yourself each day because you deserve it.

After about a month I think you will be amazed at how much more confidence you have in your own ability and how much using these 3 simple steps are changing the way you think and your ability to achieve your goals.

- Dating

- Fear of commitment

- Fear of rejection

-Social phobia

- Nervous in interview situations

- Fear of public speaking.

Although some of these situations are common for many people, the root of this fear is always self confidence and self esteem issues. The most common form of hypnosis in order to boost your confidence levels and make you into a person who thrives off their skills and talents instead of fearing them is of course hypnosis tapes and MP3s.

The problem with self confidence and self esteem is that often times your subconscious mind holds so many beliefs and factors regarding yourself that it can be hard to break them in order to change your entire way of thinking, permanently. The core of your inner strength has always been your subconscious mind and hypnosis is the only successful method to reach this area of the brain and quite literally change the way it thinks and sees you as a person.

 Hypnosis is a form of healing and alternative remedy that our society has turned into the art of entertainment instead of using it for its true powers and abilities.  Hypnosis can be done alone or you can choose to work with a hypnotist during your first few sessions in order to learn the principles to get started.

Let’s go through some of the benefits of hypnosis:

 Relieve stress and anxiety

 Help you quit smoking or another addiction

Create a better night’s sleep

Reduce the amount of pain in your life (chronic or not)

 Provide you with a general sense of well being

 Create a new level of energy in your day

 Eliminate negative feelings or phobias.

This is nothing less than an introduction to what hypnosis can do for your life when used correctly on a regular and constant basis. Now, just as with anything on the market today, although the art of hypnosis is anything but new, to our society it is new.  As a beginner in the world of hypnosis it can be hard to tell the difference between a scam and the real thing but as you begin to learn the principles for yourself from one source or another you will be able to spot these scams a mile away!

Someone once said that it’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. Self-trust is what gets you to push your limits and take risks.

Of the many secrets to success, self trust and self confidence are foremost.

When travelling life’s rough roads, your strength is sometimes put to test. You stumble along the way, get lost, and realize just how many mistakes you’ve made. Each experience serves to enhance your knowledge in life. With new lessons learned, you’re given another set of tools to use for battle.

What will make you a winner is your ability to channel all your energy to fulfilling your goals. There things that you simply cannot control. The outside factors that affect your decisions change, and while you try not to wilt away; you must also face up to your challenges and responsibilities.

 Blaming others for the repercussions of the decisions that you made is the loser’s way out. Loser. What a horrible term to use, and even worse is when this insult is directed to you. The most important factor to consider is how you’ll react to these changes. In life, there are just some things that are out of our hands. You must have a Plan B for every important decision that you make, or else, a slight change can send your entire structure of cards falling down.

When you do fall down, what will set you apart from all the ordinary people is your ability to get up. The harder you’ll fall, the more you’ll strive. Winners just don’t quit. Even with their sore behinds, they simply get up and take these battle scars along with them as reminders of their courage and tenacity.

 Success only comes with some sacrifice on your end. Whoever said that becoming successful is easy must have been dreaming because if it were, then we all would have been wildly successful by now. Winners put in more hours than anybody else. If blood, sweat, and tears have to be offered, then you should do it without batting an eyelash. And if you feel that there are just too many forces working against you, you just don’t let these things break your heart. A broken heart is a shortcut to failure.

Another secret to success is to believe in your talent and abilities no matter what everybody else says. No one knows you better, and no one understands you more. It’s all in you, the knowledge and the capacity to surpass the things that hinder you from becoming who you can be. You can’t please everybody all of the time, and some of these people may discourage you to move forward. You need to learn how to channel these voices out and focus on making those who give you support happier.